Jessica S. Preston

Enjoy your day. Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!

Love Is... . . Being able to see the beauty in darkness. Creating yet another stroke... Unsure of what the colors will reveal. . . Braving the action of... Placing one foot in front of the other. Unsure of what lies ahead... . . Faith is believing in what you heard... Not in what you see. How does one continue? . . Just close your eyes... Believe in what you can't see &... Take one more step. . . Today... Right now... You're exactly where you're supposed to be. You're closer than you've ever been. . . Take a moment... Inhale. Exhale. . . Signed  # AGirl Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!

I don’t know what it is to love a black man, any man for that matter… That is, outside of the love I’m familiar with for my father, brothers, uncles and my nephew… Other than that, I’m pretty unsure what it is to truly love and accept a man. For so long, I’ve desired to know this love; to finally experience this love with one of the opposite sex. Not just experience it, but to be completely embraced in it. I’ve often ran away and ran away from this type of love and affection because although I desire it to the utmost, I still have no training or the slightest clue on what a woman is and what her position is in the home for herself, her husband and her children. So far, I’ve been winging it… you know, life. No direction and the only cause has been for me to make sure bills are paid and placing one foot in front of the other, attempting to figure this thing out… Recently, I lost my job; my main source of income. Had this have happened just months or even one year ago, I woul...

My 2017 Semester at TWU I studied many speeches by women from the 1800's. For our last class, we were given the opportunity to give a presentation best fitting our style. I chose to give a speech based off of Sojourner Truth speech given in 1851. https://youtu.be/yq3AYiRT4no Ain't I A Woman? As I look around now in 2017, I cant help but to shake my head… dang, aint I a woman? Aint I still your sister. Long ago, we started this fight together and what a mighty distance we’ve come… we still aint made it though. Aint we still fightin? Together… We knew that if anything were to change, we would have to make this stand together. When I walk into a room full of white men and women, some Indian and Asian, young and old, I see a few who look like me, in color that is… yet when I smile to gather some type of acknowledgement or make a connection that I’m not the only woman of color in the room, I’m greeted with a cold nod that simply says, find your own way. Knowing that familiar g...

I'm not one to give any type of advice, but I read something earlier that really touched my heart. So of course I had to write. It only takes me one time to get bit and I’m done… there are some instances where I may get near that thing again, but I’m very cautious if I do… I don’t date. Period. It’s too much work for me and I don’t have that much energy to give to another person or a relationship, especially when there is so much going on. I recently gave someone a chance… I never could commit to it, yet I had a strong desire to do so. So much went on in me about the other person and even about myself… basically, it wasn’t time to be in a relationship… especially if you can’t trust yourself or are leery of the other person. Anywho, in this short span of time, I learned something from this though. I learned that even though things seem good, it’s not always good, or that it may be good & just truly not the best of timing... or something many may not like to hear, but be...

Dear Secret Keeper, Thank you. Right now, I’m listening to artist Lauryn Hill album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill where the song Zion is playing right now… It’s so dope. I was reminded from a movie I’d watched years ago ‘Disappearing Acts’ where Zora compared herself to Lauryn Hill getting pregnant at a late age, in the height of her career, ensuring her producer she would be ok. I’ve heard this song before, but now I understand that this is her song to her unborn child. What a beautiful song it is. Listening to this song and even thinking back to a girl at camp the other night, awing over her 1 year old son is very warming to my heart... I read a post somewhere, you can tell the character of a woman by the way she treats her children; I’d dare to add, people in general. The way a woman treats her children & others are a direct reflection of how she sees herself… I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Jordan. At the young age of 16, I remember the feeling I f...

"Jess, I'm thinking about coming down tonight instead of tomorrow for the funeral. I told my mom I'd be there tomorrow..." "You can come here and stay the night. You're good." "I'm leaving now & I'll be there in a bit." "Ok, be careful." I hear a knock at the door... "Come in." "What's up??" 'How you make it here so fast?" (He mumbled something) I could tell by the look on his face, he was exhausted... I'd never seen him like this.. he's usually full of life. Still sitting on the couch, laptop open, I watched as he undressed to his basketball shorts & white tee..  he came over, without saying a word, laid his head in my lap while stretching his legs out across the length of the couch. I sat there for a minute, not knowing what to do, so with my laptop now to my side, I continued to type. Within minutes, he'd fallen asleep, breathing softly into my tummy. The mom...

You what... you want me back... man, chill. You see, I waited.. I waited for you. I waited for you to quit fucking around with the other brawds. I waited for you to get your shit together. I waited for you knowing there was no changing in your behavior in sight. I heard your words, trust me & everything will be alright.. I trusted you alright. I told myself, hold it down while you get it together. The late night calls, random text, salty slugs from your tramps... I dismissed all that, just to show you I trusted you. To show you I loved you. A down ass bitch, that's what you wanted right? I am that down ass bitch. My loyalty could never be confused... only to a nigga who only knows loyalty from fuck niggas & brawds. This loyalty I have, I was born with it. It runs deep in my  veins. I knew something wasn't right when I couldn't find my rest around you. Real always recognize real. I guess that's what I get for trying to be one you wanted me to be instead of being ...

When I first saw you, I said “oh my, there’s my dream, that’s my dream” I needed a dream when it all seemed to go bad… ah, the beautiful voice of Jamie Foxx is playing in my ears now as I type... This is what came to mind when I saw you after so many years. I tried my best to play it cool… we sat on the couch and finished watching the last Episode of Empire, Season 3. I was eager to see both, since I’d missed the episode on my own time, yet I had you… finally had you at my side. A man I’d grown fond of since the 7 th grade. I continued to laugh at the entire situation because I knew the prayer I’d just prayed, not knowing you were on your way home… and here I was, sitting next to you. No paper, no glass window, no nothing… I could actually touch you again. Man, I was on cloud 9… I’m smiling now thinking about it. I’ve never met another man I actually desired to be with as much as I desired to be with you. Although, you never knew that because I have a funny way of letting ...

I was 16 years old when I birthed my daughter, who is now 12 soon to be 13 next month. I met her father when I was 15. I’d just moved back to my hometown, starting my sophomore year in high school. I was devastated. Before moving back home, I’d finally seen a glimpse of myself away from everything I knew while living in the big city of Dallas, TX. Like the caged bird never knowing what it was like to be free, I’d finally experienced that freedom. I was with my favorite aunt, had the cutest boyfriend (my Biscuit) and everything for me was just right… so I felt in my teenage eyes. So one summer when our home was broken into, it gave my mom the opportunity to finally go back to her safehaven… our hometown. I was devastated. Little did I know, my mom hated the city and was praying for a way to get back home. I could image her thoughts after she’d moved, asking herself why did she make this decision. We moved during my 8th grade year and although the transition was drastic, for some ...

Trading it all means letting go of the story I've rehearsed, letting go of past experiences that I've held onto for so long. Trading it all means me trying "one" more time after I said I wouldn't. Opening my heart to receive your love allowing myself to become vulnerable, tearing down the walls with hopes I don't have to replace them. Allowing you to take the lead as priest over me & our family, trusting your ability to lead. I've done it so far on my own, so of course it's scary to let you in & trade what I'm comfortable with for something I must become temporarily uncomfortable with. My request is that if I trade it all to take a chance on your love that you too trade it all to take a chance on my love.

“What did you do with all your books?” “I left everything in there. I didn’t want to bring anything from there, here.”   This was a question I asked a friend who was recently released from prison. Funny this piece of our conversation came to mind this morning. You’re getting ready to move from one place to another yet you look at your current space you’ve been residing for so long. You’ve collected so much stuff over the years. Stuff that at one point you needed and held onto so desperately and dared anyone take it from you. Some that fed you. Some that depleted you. Some that distracted you. Some that strengthened you. Some things you look at and ask why or where did this come from. Letters, notes, pictures, little nick knacks are everywhere. All this stuff surrounding a current space you’re about to leave for good. What are you going to do with the collection? Do you take it with you or do you leave it all there? Opening your bag, setting it on the bed you laid your head...

With a little over a week into the last month of the year, I can't help but reflect on this past year. My goodness, what a year it has been. I can remember leaving the year 2015 learning that I was up for consideration of entering into a new position at my job. This spoke well, especially since I'd just started in March of 2015. I was elated a tad bit scared yet I was confident that if God presented me to this position then I was well equipped to perform. Little did I know what was to come in the days, weeks and months ahead. Entering into 2016 I learned that gifts are not free. They come with some type of opposition, great or small. I witness many who shout over a prophetic word or some place they desire to reside or some position they desire to attain and yes, they are well qualified but fail to see the sharks in the water or the vultures roaming just above their heads searching for fresh blood & most of all, those silent issues that ...

We almost had a chance to see & experience our 1st Madam President. Yesterday, seeing the women in their nicely tailored pantsuits did something to me... I thought, why would any young girl aspire to be a "bad bitch" having their possessions the only thing to show vs. having nice things, being educated and making a difference. Now Hillary Clinton was that bad B... Yet, the results are in.. I don’t know about you, but this morning I woke up with so many emotions. I literally held my tears as my daughter and I dressed for the day. I didn’t realize I was holding tears until driving off from her school, making my way to work and the tears began to flow. Trying to stop them, they wouldn’t. I continued to hear train my hands to war. Stir up the gifts within me. Create in me a clean heart. For such a time as this. Seeing a woman having the possibility of becoming President of the United States speaks volumes. I remember watching Birth of a Nation a few weeks ago and the ending...

A part of you desires to stay the same because it's familiar. Yet the frustration has been the only thing consistent in your life for a while. My friend, it's not easy to kick against the pricks. When destiny is calling you higher everything in you is ready, prepared, in motion to move forward... just as a woman going into labor. Once it begins, her body is already positioned to push that baby outside of her. No matter how hard she may try, she can't keep it inside of her. Life is the same. When destiny calls, everything is in position to propel you forward but constant resistance will cause you more harm than anything. So, I’m writing today to say, it's OK to move forward. Move forward into that unfamiliar territory. To that place where no one looks like you or where you’ve come from for that matter. That's the only way you are going to grow into the woman or man you are called to be. You can’t pour new wine into old wine skin. There is so much waiting for an on y...

Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!

We've all found ourselves searching at some point in life... but what is it we're actually searching for? It may not be that I actually have a real desire to marry. It could be that the real question I'm desiring to be fulfilled is, do I matter? How much could be saved if I actually addressed the real question? That question... does anyone want me? Maybe this job will fill this void... maybe setting a goal to climb to the top of the ladder &&& finally, once I do it the void will be filled. Maybe if I go to school, make passing grades, hopefully all A's, maintaining one of the highest GPA's just possibly this will fill the void... this emptiness inside of me speaks so loud. Let me move to a new place & just start all over... yea, that'll do it. Man, I was on a high for a great while, but why am I feeling empty again. Let me go out to eat... again. Good food always cheer me up... I know it... I need to do something else... what else can I do... ...

Dear Secret Keeper, I am coming to you probably like I’ve never come to you before. I would like a new chance to start again. If not to start again, I would like to move forward from where I am now. For so long I’ve had my focus on so many things I felt I wanted… some for my benefit and some just because. Either way, I know that I’m not where I want to be in life. I’ve made many strides but none that speaks to the heart of who I am. Then again, you’ve blessed me so well, I’ve missed you in the opportunities presented, leaving me constantly grasping for more to make the most of the “next” opportunity. You have blessed me so well over the years, but I’ve overlooked them seeking more, trying to fill a void that I created because of my lack of this or that. All the while in my ungratefulness you continued to bless me. You continued to fill my cup to overflowing. Even now, my cup looks empty yet it’s still overflowing… or is it just stopped up at the moment? This is what I mean by I ...

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again by Danny Gokey Father, I’ve been in a mode of survival for a while now and it’s been taking place way before I stepped out to move on my own. It goes deeper than me just surviving monthly bills and having a job, maintaining a consistent schedule. I’ve been surviving life, getting by the best way that I know how. Protecting myself from pain, rejection, loneliness, from myself, only later to protect Jordan from myself. Not knowing that I was taking myself away from everything, leaving me to only thrive off of my own milk… receiving nutrients of darkness. One day I began to see myself as a monster. I began to look at myself in such a dark light, I’ve made an attempt to shun myself from any light, feeling I was unworthy. Father well the truth is, I am unworthy yet you still tell me that you have come so that we may have life and have it all the more. You have given us greatness on earth and an even greater life with you in He...

I'm reminded of a dream a friend shared with me back in December...   One day I was scrolling through IG and saw a pic of a beautiful wedding cake that reminded me of a dream I had the night before. In the dream was actually a small glimpse of me in a wedding dress. So, thinking nothing much of it, I reposted the photo captioning it “I had a dream I was in a wedding dress last night. Not sure who the guy was crazy enough to marry me but this cake is beautiful."   So, later that evening, I received a text saying, I need to talk to you, I'll call you in a few. So like a little kid I’m like ok, anxiously awaiting to hear what she had to say. Well a week went by and I texted her saying what did you need to talk about? She responded, I'll call you later this week.  Finally she called. She went on to explain that she’d had a dream about me & a special someone, preparing for our special day. I call...