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Searching...

We've all found ourselves searching at some point in life... but what is it we're actually searching for?
It may not be that I actually have a real desire to marry. It could be that the real question I'm desiring to be fulfilled is, do I matter? How much could be saved if I actually addressed the real question? That question... does anyone want me? Maybe this job will fill this void... maybe setting a goal to climb to the top of the ladder &&& finally, once I do it the void will be filled. Maybe if I go to school, make passing grades, hopefully all A's, maintaining one of the highest GPA's just possibly this will fill the void... this emptiness inside of me speaks so loud. Let me move to a new place & just start all over... yea, that'll do it. Man, I was on a high for a great while, but why am I feeling empty again. Let me go out to eat... again. Good food always cheer me up... I know it... I need to do something else... what else can I do... I've had the money. I've had the guys. I've had the friends, clubs, drinks, dope. I've even been busy in church, you know... volunteering and all... why do I still feel empty. How can I fill this void because these things sure aren't doing it. Maybe I just hadn't found my niche. Maybe I just hadn't found the right man. Maybe that job just wasn't right for me... just maybe... maybe... is it me? What's wrong with me? Let me work on that.bi changed my hair, worked hard to lose the weight. Changed my clothing... for some reason I still keep falling short & can't seem to find what I'm looking for... man, what am I looking for... when I get to where I'm aiming, what am I looking for when I arrive? Fulfillment. Tell me I'm doing a good job. Tell me there's nothing wrong with me. Encourage me to go after my wildest dream. Tell me, I think you'd be great at that... just try it. I'm looking for you... for you to acknowledge me just for who I am. Tell me I'm good enough.
What happens if I never find what I'm searching for...

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