Dear Ladies...

I'm not one to give any type of advice, but I read something earlier that really touched my heart. So of course I had to write.

It only takes me one time to get bit and I’m done… there are some instances where I may get near that thing again, but I’m very cautious if I do…

I don’t date. Period. It’s too much work for me and I don’t have that much energy to give to another person or a relationship, especially when there is so much going on. I recently gave someone a chance… I never could commit to it, yet I had a strong desire to do so. So much went on in me about the other person and even about myself… basically, it wasn’t time to be in a relationship… especially if you can’t trust yourself or are leery of the other person.

Anywho, in this short span of time, I learned something from this though. I learned that even though things seem good, it’s not always good, or that it may be good & just truly not the best of timing... or something many may not like to hear, but being unprepared... I learned too, that when a man wants something, he’s gonna get it... & sometimes we're just not what he's looking for... When a man isn’t ready for or doesn't want something, man… he’s just not or just doesn't & it will show… no matter how much one tries to convince him. Same thing goes for a woman. I learned too, that there are more trifling and insecure (BADD) women than I realized. I’ve never really looked at a woman in a bad light. But man, these women now a day… baby, they are in for the kill to get what they want… forget you. Forgive my language, but these bitches are savage & for some reason, many guys want just that... It's trash but the look of something is better than actually having it now a day...

Prime example… a chick I’m close to told me about a girl that found her way in her dudes inbox… no bars held, she reached out to the girl… “say, if you need anything, you come to me x, y, z…” At first I thought, dang, why she trip like that on this girl… then I realized, she knew something I didn’t know. People are messy and although she trusts her man, she knows that he’s just that; a man. She also knows how women are and how easily things can get out of hand… She told me, girl Satan is busy… it ain’t happening over here.

Ok, back to the story… I’m one who truly believes that things don’t just happen; we had some type of knowing in our spirit that was loud and clear to us. It may seem hard, but when a person comes to me saying this, off top I don’t believe it. It may have come out of the blue, but you heard that warning prior to ish blowing up…

You have to know when you’re ready and when you’re not ready, and be ok with that. If anyone tries to step to you during this time, you have to let them know where you are & be ok with them not being willing to wait for you. You’ll know what’s up in their actions that follow. Don’t play yourself by rushing things. 2 Pac says, “you can’t be rushing like it’s a race… playa cards right” This goes for the man and woman.  You have to know what your drug of choice is… what is it that you use to get that “high” feeling? What is it that you use to get some relief? What is that thing that you do that you know isn’t healthy for you, yet you find yourself in that same predicament time and time again? I can’t think of her name but she has a book out regarding detoxing from relationships. Yes, DETOXING from a relationship(s). Sometimes one truly has to take a step back & recoup... and that means letting go of what they had in mind & taking time to seek within & get in touch with that higher calling.

Detox: A process or period of time in which one abstains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances.

Have you ever tried to go on a fast or a diet or abstain from something you’re used to getting at your leisure? For instance, I went on a Whole30 Challenge, where I couldn’t eat sugars, breads, dairy, no nothing. All except for things that came from the ground in its natural state. This was probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. But I did it 3 times, not just once and I saw the results.

When you have your mind made up of where you are in life, you can’t even play with the trash that comes your way… like you once did; it was a game… for me, it was a game, until stuff got real. Now, I’m not playing anymore. (lol) I said, shid that hurt man... I can't even do this anymore... only to realize, I should've never played with it in the 1st place. All I had to do was say, I wasn't ready or better yet... I really don't see you fitting in my life... I rarely ever turn down a persistent man… Now, I will. I don’t care what you have or what you’re presenting. I now see why people say, love don’t pay bills. The feeling of infatuation is great, but man it passes… that ain’t love. Love isn’t a feeling, love is Christ Dying on the Cross for his people. Love isn’t pretty to the naked eye; yet it’s beautiful in ALL of it’s essence.

So, ladies, he’s out there just like you’re out there… he’s not perfect… you’re not perfect but it will happen… next time, don’t give in so easily… what I mean by that is, examine him like you would your nail tech or beautician. Be careful with who you give your heart to. Let dude step his game up to get you. You’re not some random chick. You’re that chick that he doesn’t want to miss out on… and if he does, oh well. You gotta know your worth. Pigs are pigs… it is what it is. Don’t cast your pearls among them any longer. They’ll eat anything that comes their way.

Step your game up. Know your Worth. Live your Life. Don’t Wait on him. Live your life as if yours was about to end at any moment. Let him show you he wants you. I know this is a time where men are scarce. Present your request to the Lord and allow Him to do the work.

Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!