She Waited for You...

You what... you want me back... man, chill. You see, I waited.. I waited for you. I waited for you to quit fucking around with the other brawds. I waited for you to get your shit together. I waited for you knowing there was no changing in your behavior in sight. I heard your words, trust me & everything will be alright.. I trusted you alright. I told myself, hold it down while you get it together. The late night calls, random text, salty slugs from your tramps... I dismissed all that, just to show you I trusted you. To show you I loved you. A down ass bitch, that's what you wanted right? I am that down ass bitch. My loyalty could never be confused... only to a nigga who only knows loyalty from fuck niggas & brawds. This loyalty I have, I was born with it. It runs deep in my veins. I knew something wasn't right when I couldn't find my rest around you. Real always recognize real. I guess that's what I get for trying to be one you wanted me to be instead of being the woman I knew to be. That woman would've never taken you out of the friend zone. That woman would've dismissed you like I did many times before. You see when you caught up with me, I was broken... I wasn't myself. So I let you in, perpetrating to be my King. I failed to remember the prayers I prayed. I failed to remember the woman I am. The woman I am, can't a lil boy pretending to be a man. I never thought I would speak to you this way... never in a million years, but my respect for you is long gone. My respect for you left the day you let that bitch call my phone. I'll never check her over you, but I will leave her ass with you. We both know where you want to be, but you gambled thinking I would always be. You played yourself this time & hopefully for the last time. You say you want to work it out. Hell nah bruh, it took you & some time to show me what I was all about. Make it work with her. Be the man you know to be. Settle down & love the one you're with. You paid a hefty price for your bride. I just want to say thank you for showing your true colors that I may make room for the one who truly is designed to embrace mine 💌

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Unbreak My Heart

Although I am writing about myself, I want for my readers to see themselves or someone in a similar situation. Not feel sorry for yourself or them, but to gain some clarity. This make take a moment to read, so kick back and get comfortable for a moment. Right now I'm listening to Un-Break My Heart by Toni Braxton & have the nerve to have it on repeat. I actually really love old 90's hits. That's when real music was in. It’s around 5p so I’m writing in between stops in traffic. For probably the last few years I've been beating myself up over this simple yet burdensome stumbling block. Somewhere, sometime ago I lost confidence in myself. I couldn't understand it because although I knew people had an opinion about me, truthfully I didn't care. Like, literally someone could say something out of line to me & I wouldn't notice, because my mind more than likely was on something else anyhow. Somewhere along the way I began to care & I will say that...

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Leave It...

“What did you do with all your books?” “I left everything in there. I didn’t want to bring anything from there, here.” This was a question I asked a friend who was recently released from prison. Funny this piece of our conversation came to mind this morning. You’re getting ready to move from one place to another yet you look at your current space you’ve been residing for so long. You’ve collected so much stuff over the years. Stuff that at one point you needed and held onto so desperately and dared anyone take it from you. Some that fed you. Some that depleted you. Some that distracted you. Some that strengthened you. Some things you look at and ask why or where did this come from. Letters, notes, pictures, little nick knacks are everywhere. All this stuff surrounding a current space you’re about to leave for good. What are you going to do with the collection? Do you take it with you or do you leave it all there? Opening your bag, setting it on the bed you laid your head...

Jessica S. Preston

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