Jessica S. Preston

I'm writing just in case someone is feeling a little defeated... I hope this helps... I remember maybe about 3 years ago, I had an interview at a hospital as an intake specialist... basically I would handle incoming referrals for new and continuing patients. I knew when I heard the description of the job, it was not what I wanted. I was just so driven by the idea of getting my foot in the door and leaving where I was, that I was willing to accept the position. Heading to the office where the interview was held, I passed a door marked Communications, Marketing & Public Affairs. I thought to myself, that would be a cool place to work. Even on my way out, I said that I should stop in and see if there were any positions available... well I didn't but still thought it would be cool... I didn't get the job I interviewed for and was not sad about it at all. Later on I did apply for another position in the same area with a different coorporation and was hired on. Not long a...

It always amazes me how far I've come & how far I still have to go. I find myself vacillating between who I want to become & the me I'm still trying to overcome. I know that in the word Jesus says "I have overcome the world, so be of good cheer", but what happens when you still find yourself wrestling with old habits?   You swear one moment I'm done, then the next moment you're right back in that thing... It's not that you didn't mean it the first time, sometimes you find it hard to separate yourself from it; whatever it may be. Im not sure if that's what is considered as a soul tie or what... Sometimes I wish I could just leave it all alone, but there is something there that still calls me... To be honest there is a part of me that still desires, part of me just wants to sit back and look & part of me still see the good in it although there are many bad memories & there's part of me who wonder will it be any good in the ...

So I must say that this weekend was a much needed blessing and in disguise might I add. When I say in disguise, I really mean that I didn’t see it coming. I really wasn’t expecting it. I knew that I would be going home and speaking as a panel guest at Ultimate Connections Annual Girl Talk “Girl I Like Your Style”. The Blessing that came with it was amazing. Honestly speaking the last few times I visited home, it hasn’t been so pleasant. I was always in some type of disarray for whatever the reason and I wouldn’t enjoy it… I can remember before leaving my home the night before, some thought came in my mind, and immediately following the thought I said aloud, “I’m not mad anymore”. Didn’t really know why of all things, I said that but, I just said I’m not mad anymore… Well I take that back, I do know why I said it. After learning a few things with my brother, I saw how his words and actions hurt another person, and I saw myself. I wondered, is that what I’m like? After giving it som...

I once heard a story, I’m sure many will be able to relate to in some way. There was a young man who had the privilege of walking to and from school. Everything was ok, up until he would reach a certain point. Each time he would reach this certain corner he absolutely had to pass by in order to get to his house, he would reach this scary dog. This dog would bark and growl showing all his sharp teeth letting the little boy know what to expect if he were to come any closer. Each time it came for the boy to reach this certain corner, he would fear his life and take out running another way and take a longer route home. This took place day after day, until one day the boy changed his mind. One day the young boy made up in his mind that he was no longer going to run from this scary dog who it seems to have made it a point to terrorize him each day. On his way home from school, the young boy made it to the corner, ready to make the turn to his home. He stopped and saw the dog. As usual, ...

I’m not sure when this dream took place, but I know it was over a year ago. I had a really vivid dream where I truly believe God was speaking to me letting me know that some things were getting ready to take place that would be out of my control, but He gave me hope in the end. The dream started with me being in a car going around in a circle. Just simply spinning, going no where but in a circle. Just as dreams happen, all of a sudden I was in another place. Not sure how I got on this ride... I either walked on or just all of a sudden found myself on the ride. This ride was nothing but a long pole that also spun around in a circle. Once I got onto the pole, the pole began to spin, but slowly, so I held on loosely with my arms and legs. I can remember I was able to see a lot of empty space around me. Then all of a sudden, the ride sped up tremendously. I tried to get off, but it was going so fast that I knew if I stepped off that I would be even mo...

So I just had an idea. What if we were to strive to do what we love to do and it works. Like what I mean by “and it works” is, you know when you have a super creative idea and you are so stoked about it and you’re like this is amazing… then that second thought comes in or you tell someone about it and you think, nah that’s not going to work because it’s what… IMPOSSIBLE. That dream is too hard for me to accomplish. I don’t have enough resources to get this started. Who am I to do this? I ain’t nobody. I don’t know the right people. Umm, you don’t know my track record. Yea, sounds like a good idea, but I always have good ideas, I never follow through with them… My oh my, the list goes on of the negative thoughts we think about ourselves. I heard not too long ago, that what if the thought to build an airplane produce the light bulb or the World Wide Web was never tried, where would we be? Like think about Moses. There wasn’t rain before the great flood, so why in the world was he...

This morning during my commute into work, I decided to listen to the latest Pinky Promise video. She mentioned so many great things that I will hold onto to. One thing that she mentioned during the discussion, was when she was single how she filled her life with so many randoms just to fill a void of loneliness. I began to think about something that has crossed my mind several times; how would it be just to let go. What I mean by let go, is to let go of all of the hearts that I am connected to. Although I am single, there are still a variety of men who I am connected to spiritually. I guess this could also be considered as a soul tie. I have old relationships that has never had closure. NEVER. They always just slowly dwindle some type of way. Then there’s a window of loneliness or whatever it may be that creeps in and a text, or a message goes out; and the sad part is, I’m usually the initial messenger. Meaning, they aren’t coming after me, I’m going after them. The proc...