Skip to main content

Trickles of Water...


So I must say that this weekend was a much needed blessing and in disguise might I add. When I say in disguise, I really mean that I didn’t see it coming. I really wasn’t expecting it. I knew that I would be going home and speaking as a panel guest at Ultimate Connections Annual Girl Talk “Girl I Like Your Style”. The Blessing that came with it was amazing.

Honestly speaking the last few times I visited home, it hasn’t been so pleasant. I was always in some type of disarray for whatever the reason and I wouldn’t enjoy it… I can remember before leaving my home the night before, some thought came in my mind, and immediately following the thought I said aloud, “I’m not mad anymore”. Didn’t really know why of all things, I said that but, I just said I’m not mad anymore… Well I take that back, I do know why I said it. After learning a few things with my brother, I saw how his words and actions hurt another person, and I saw myself. I wondered, is that what I’m like? After giving it some thought, I just came to the conclusion that I’m not upset anymore. Whatever I was upset with, being mad, simply requires too much energy.

It’s amazing that when we do something, we don’t see the effects of it, but when others do the same thing, it’s like they blew up the city. So, I guess you can say, I took a look at the woman in the mirror. I didn’t know the impact of those words, but I know that there was something that I didn’t feel when I went home and that was anger. To be honest I felt lighter than before. Nothing had changed on the outside, but I was lighter and wasn’t as heavy.

At the time, I still hadn’t realized what had taken place, but Sunday I expressed to my mom what a good feeling it was to be home and seeing everyone. It was a breath of fresh air when I saw my brother and it was a breath of fresh air to see the mood of my daughter lighten when she was back in her space at my moms home. She was at ease. Ever since the move, she has been tense and unsure of her environment and it is up to me to help her feel at ease and at peace. She is adjusting well, but definitely, there are still more adjustments to be made. Keep in mind, I picked her up and moved her out of her comfort zone and asked her to be ok with that.

I remember when speaking at the event, it may have seemed to others that I was crying and I may have been but to me it just felt as if my eyes were watering & would not stop… for some strange reason, later after taking another look at things, I felt that the topic I’d spoken on opened up a fountain to a well of water. Only thing was, the trickles of water is what let me know that I’d hit something… I didn’t know that the topic was so deep in my heart, until it came out of my mouth… Leading up to the event and even as I sat on the panel listening to the others, I didn’t know what was going to come out of my mouth. When I grabbed the mic, the words just spilled over…

I’m not sure what else is to come, but I definitely know that something happened and I am for sure that it was not just in me. The tears flowing from the other women’s faces let me know that something burst open and it won’t be able to stop flowing after this…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Can't Stop...

Last night at WNBS I just began to write this message below. Although I know this word was for me, I wanted to share it with you also, just in case you needed to hear it also… …Somewhere you have gotten tired or have grown weary with the gift God has given you. I need you to ask God to renew your strength and to revive your spirit. The gift that lies within you is not for you, but for others. You have been trusted with this gift. You have been equipped with this gift. You hold something that someone needs. I know that you are tired. I know that you feel misused, often abused and at times unappreciated. I know that you feel that you can’t give anymore of you. I know that you feel like “God, how can I give out when I am in need”? Please know that as you give, He will give to you. As you bless His house, automatically, He will bless your house. Remember that what He has given you, He knows just how much you can bare before it runs low on fuel. It’s funny that the gifts we are bless...
2 comments
Read more

Work That Thing...

So, I'm sitting listening to a Youtube video on Confidence and the words below just came pouring out. I have a gift of Encouragement. I know this because this is the thing that I try to give others. Also, this is the thing that I desire most of others. So I go above and beyond to encourage the next person, no matter who they are. I just want them to feel better, because I know what it feels like to not feel like you have the ability live up to your potential. I want you to know that you can anything that you put your mind to do. There is nothing that can stop you from being you, not even you. The only thing that is standing in your way, is one: your view of yourself, and two: that belief of the word that has been spoken over your life. This is not a word that you might be able to hear verbally, but it may be a word that comes as a desire deep within you, that you are unable to shake. No matter, where you try to go. No matter how hard you try to kill the thought. No matter...
Post a Comment
Read more

Intervention

Intervention...   I am reminded of the movie Frankie and Alice. I said that I was going to go back and watch that movie. Because Frankie has a personality disorder. Frankie had Alice, Frankie (herself) and Genius to deal with. Frankie was trying to cope with life the best way that she knew how to do so. In her regular self, Frankie was an exotic dancer and did things that comes with that lifestyle. Alice was a person Frankie had tucked away from her past and it was almost like she didn’t exist. Alice was determined to make Frankie pay for what she had done to her at such a young age. Frankie knew the events had taken place but back in that time and even still in her present time, there were many things that were left unsaid. So Frankie accepted her reality but never let the memories go. This was a place she would visit every so often but instead of her prompting the memories the memories would be triggered by a song, vision, an event or person that closely resembled anyth...
3 comments
Read more