The Story is Still Unfolding

I’m not sure when this dream took place, but I know it was over a year ago. I had a really vivid dream where I truly believe God was speaking to me letting me know that some things were getting ready to take place that would be out of my control, but He gave me hope in the end.

The dream started with me being in a car going around in a circle. Just simply spinning, going no where but in a circle. Just as dreams happen, all of a sudden I was in another place. Not sure how I got on this ride... I either walked on or just all of a sudden found myself on the ride. This ride was nothing but a long pole that also spun around in a circle. Once I got onto the pole, the pole began to spin, but slowly, so I held on loosely with my arms and legs. I can remember I was able to see a lot of empty space around me. Then all of a sudden, the ride sped up tremendously.

I tried to get off, but it was going so fast that I knew if I stepped off that I would be even more hurt to the point that I may not make it alive, verses staying on the ride. So I stayed on the ride, but in order to bear the ride, I had to close my eyes, tuck my head into my chest and hold on as tight as I could. I could feel myself spinning around and around so fast and I was scared but I knew that I had to hold on.

I’m not sure how long the spinning took place. All I do know is that the spinning stopped suddenly. This suddenly did not jerk, or cause my head to whiplash. The spinning stopped suddenly with such an ease, I never saw coming. What I did see, was that I was still surrounded by the large, empty space that was lit as an outside field would be; no one else there just me. I noticed though, that when the ride stopped, I got off in a calm manner, not weak, but with my head facing forward and my feet moving gracefully beneath me. Under my feet was like a long street filled with water. I don't even remember seeing my feet at all. I do know that I just walked forward, opposite of the crazy ride I'd just exited with no interest in turning to look back to see what it was.

The only reason I know that I didn’t look back was because my conscious standing as an outside looking on the visual representation taking place wondered if I would look back. I remember my conscious saying, “she didn’t look back”. I can’t tell you what happened after the dream, all except that I woke up afterwards and was like what in the world. All I could say was that where I was in life at the time, I knew that the ride was not ending any time soon. Then little did I know, I was already on this ride.

Since June of 2014, I have quit a job, accepted to a new job, moved to a new city in an environment totally different from my normal, left that job to take a temporary position, which in short time lead to a full-time position with a salary that I only dreamed of making. Through this shift, I felt so unsure of myself. Am I hearing from God or am I just running. At a point I felt as if I was not going to make it. I felt like saying, who was I kidding, I'm going home; where it's safe. I literally thought I would lose my mind; and to be honest for a minute I felt I really did snap. I felt like there was no more life to me; I didn’t serve anymore purpose here on this earth. If I wasn’t so scary, and if it was up to me I probably would have taken my life. All because I could not see any rhyme or reason to this madness. I'm so grateful for the hedge of protection that God has around my life.

It’s funny how when you don’t need help, there are so many people around you. You could care less about the help and that’s normally because you hadn’t lived long enough to know that you need the help. But the minute you need the most help, there is no one around to help you. Please believe that this is not in no means thought about in a negative connotation. In my case, I began to push others away from me slowly. I could barely trust myself and the decisions I was making; there was no way that I could trust anyone else.

I felt that either I would hurt you, or you were out to hurt me. I found that the saying is true, that hurting people, hurt people... even when it's not the intention. Little did I know this shift was taking place. Things were not as they once were. I noticed that my thinking was changing, my behavior was changing. There are those, who were close to me at the time who can attest to this also. Another thing is that even the place where I found most comfort was no longer comfortable to me. I found myself alone and alone is a scary place to be… Unbeknownst to me though, I was never alone. God had me right where He needed me to be.

It wasn’t until tonight, listening to the rebroadcast of TPH Sunday message: God Undercover, that I thought about this dream again. I never forgot the dream but this message shed so much light toward it. Throughout the entire month of May, it has been storming and raining non-stop. So much that there has been tornadoes in random places, flooding in random places that has shut things down. Families have lost their homes, cars, and even their lives due to the tragedies that has been taking place, just in this month alone; and to add, this is taking place in Texas.

Tonight when Bishop mentioned the weather, being that it has great significance of the time you are in, that it allows us to know that a major move is getting or is already taking place. I couldn’t help but think back on my commute to work this morning. Traffic was jam packed!!! I didn’t know until I finally got to it, that there was water and I’m talking several feet that was standing still under the under path on my exit to work and many other exits around the metro-plex. I drove as far as I felt was safe and eventually had to turn around, only to get to another exit that was also filled with water, but it was safe enough to drive through. When I heard one, and thought back to the other, my heart began to fill and all I could see was the water just like in the dream. I couldn’t see the bottom but, all I could see was the water and it’s waves.

To be honest, I’m not sure what is about to take place, but I can say that I feel as if I’ve stepped into a new place. I can’t see it, really don’t know what to expect. But I know that it is a new place and I’m Jess but a Jess who is standing in a strength, confidence and grace that I know was given to me by none other than my Father in Heaven. I’m excited to see what God is going to do in and mostly excited about what He is going to do thru my life. Is it scary that I don’t know what it is? Kinda... but to a degree, I don’t want to know. I know that if He shows me prematurely it would probably scare me even more.

No eye has see, and no ear heard, the things God has in store…