Wow. Although I say that I desire a mate, I can’t imagine
the difficulties a marriage must face those first few years… or maybe those
first few months. I’ve often heard that the reality is much different than the expectation
of something.
It’s funny how we ask God to bless us with things, that we
have no clue of the reality of what we are asking for. Ever been in the
audience where someone introduces their spouse and proceed to spek on the 35
years they’ve been married, then notice
how the crowd produces a massive applause… Although I was part of the ones who
would applaud, I never really understood the depth of why I was clapping,
outside of the fact that 35 years is a VERY long time to be with one person…
Although I am not married, for the past month I have grown
to respect anyone who dares to enter into the institution of marriage. I see
now that marriage is not for punks or for better words, the faint of heart. It’s
not for those who so easily throw in the towel when things get tough or when a
disagreement takes place. I would often think about my first argument with my
spouse because I know how I tend to shut down when it comes to confrontation. I
picture the worst. If we argue then that means that the marriage is over… Well
of course it is… how does one come back to love again when being told true
feelings the other has towards you, and it hurt… You can say whatever you’d
like but don’t hurt my feelings in the process... I’m ready to go then.
I wonder what makes one stay married for 35 years or even
past 1 year seeing the different shades of their spouse over the seasons?? Me,
I’m terribly afraid of commitment because I’m terribly afraid of falling for
someone and it not working out. So I give the piece of me that I want to give
and hold back the piece of me I don’t think you could handle. I’m guessing,
because I really don’t know that the hardest part is becoming vulnerable enough
to give of yourself to another person. Allowing them the opportunity to hurt
you, reject you, correct you, challenge you… Being open to the vulnerability to
change even when it’s not easy. Being open to the vulnerability of knowing that
someone still loves you and desires you, all the while seeing your flaws.
These flaws are something that we have learned to hide from
the public eye. We’ve, well I’ve learned to show those around me what I wanted
to show them. I would allow someone to get only so close to me to see what I
presented, but not too close to see who I really am… afraid that if they came
too close, they would reject the real me. So of course, I have trouble being in
a relationship or better yet anything that calls for any type of commitment…
staying when I don’t want to stay? Staying when I have the opportunity to leave
when it gets too rough... and you crazy… umm I’d rather not… I can do this on my
own… (yea right)
I heard the other night, that as a generation we have come
to the point to where we cannot go any further doing things on our own. We’ve
come to a point to where we have to learn to be relational if we are desire to
go to the next level or even if we desire to continue the tasks God has
designed for our lives. God has called us to love Him with all of our heart and
soul as well as love our neighbors as ourselves. For those like myself, this
may be a difficult task to accomplish. For others it may be simple because they
already walk in the gift. Not matter the difficulty, I know that it can be
done.
I started off speaking on the difficulties of marriage because
that’s where my mind is at this time, but of course this post can be used in
many instances…
Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!
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