Jessica S. Preston

Today I decided I wanted something more, so I'm breaking up with you.  Now, I can honestly say that I am a Ride or Die chic. I didn't realize it until now... I realized that I've rode with you thru thick & thin, to the point I was willing to die for the risk of losing you. You were my comfort when no one else was there. You were the one I ran to because your arms were always open, welcoming me. You bottled each tear that ever fell from my face, every word spoken out of disbelief or frustration. You cradled me tight... at night... on those lonely nights I climbed in your arms while you made love to me oh so sweetly. Speaking all the right words I needed to hear to rock me gently to sleep.  Gently to sleep you rocked me. With each  gently stroke of your beautiful words, I drifted deeper to sleep until I no longer desired anything more than your sweet touch & your beautiful, soft words kissing me in all the right places... i craved your touch & your voice......

I thought this would be easier to get through. Unfortunately it’s not as easy as I thought. This weekend I said aloud that I’d give myself the entire weekend to get over it and not to visit the thoughts again. Here we are, Monday afternoon and the mere thought has me at the brim of my lowest… I have to ask myself, was there a time that you told me to let go and I didn’t? I can say that I tried… Honestly I did try. I made myself believe that we could just be friends and keep it at that, yet I knew underlying there was always something there. Something that both of us were afraid to act on… so we sought out hardest to look for the slightest of clues to move forward... Is this something or what did that mean? This was the question that nipped at our heels unbeknownst to each other. So we waited. I waited. I said I was moving forward, but still I waited for him to look at me and tell me, “Jessica, I want to try again”. I would’ve dropped everything in my hand just to take his hand. I...

(sigh) where do I begin… It was a shocker to see you with her. Finally, the moment I feared most came… I knew one day it would come, but I didn’t know when or how. After the initial shock, I had a conversation that shined a light so bright that I couldn’t help but to smile. Strangely, something that just minutes ago had my heart racing now brought a sense of relief. I said why am I happy? I knew then that it was complete… it was over. I can’t remember the day we met. I can’t remember the day the idea of an "us" began. What I do remember is somewhere along the way, I felt something I’d never experienced before. We never kissed, I can't remember us holding hands, we’ve laid in the samw bed and slept together, but never had a sexual encounter… but you gave me more that what any stroke or physical touch of any kind could give me. You made love to my mind over and over and over again. That experience captivated me in a way that I now hold others to a higher standard becaus...