Kisses of a Friend... (listen to this conversation)

Girl, what have you been up to? It's been too long...
If you don't stop. It's been like two days...
(laugh out loud) I know. It just seems like forever.
Girl you are a mess! What's going on though. You got me out in this rain, and it's cold. We could've met at your house or something.
Girl, you know I try to get out of the house as much as I can. Plus I wanted to sport my new necklace and jacket... why not now??
I did notice it mam. I was about to ask to borrow it, but since it's new... I'll let you make... for today anyhow. I will say though, that I love me some Olive Garden and I'm glad you got me out for a bit!
Well... about that... girl to be honest, there's another reason I wanted to see you...
Oh Lord... what happened now? Is everything ok?
(Slides over phone) (Sigh) Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't ya'll supposed to have a thing going on... I mean I know you mention him every once in a while, but by the looks of things... I'm a bit confused...
What girl? Let me see... Oh...yea we are... Nothing too serious though... But what do you mean though, or what are you confused about?
Girl, so you're my girl right and I know that you're feeling him... right? Never mind cause I know you are by that goofy grin on your face when you talk about him...
Ok... get to it...
Well the part I'm confused about is that, if ya'll are supposed to be talking or getting to know each other better why doesn't he seem to think the same? I mean, have you seen his FB posts?? I mean what's up with that?
Girl, I know... To be honest, I really don't even pay attention to what he posts on Facebook. He's always posting something extra random... I just... I guess I just learned to ignore it... (looking off)
Girl, ignore what? Ignore that you give him a lot of your time and energy "talking" to him while he's posting every other day, him and some girl hugged up... looking a little too friendly if you ask me...
And you're right, I didn't ask you...
And you didn't and I noticed that... I was waiting for you to say something, because I KNOW you noticed it annnddd I KNOW it bothers you. I don't care what you say. I mean he makes these posts with all these girls, then on top of that, with him almost soliciting himself to the highest bidder... basically looking for someone to take the bait... I mean Jess really... he doesn't seem like he has someone that he's "talking" to or even getting to know. He seems like he's still looking...
(head down, still scrolling thru her phone) You're right. At first it didn't bother me because I knew he had a lot of female friends so I was like whatever. Then I did start noticing the "extra" stuff he was posting and I'll say... it began to agitate me a little. But I don't say anything about it because I don't want to look like I'm jealous or nothing like that... because you know me and I'm not. I just feel like, we talk everyday and that's enough for me for right now...
Girl if you don't stop.
Stop what?
(looking at me sideways)... girl please. I know you and I know that's not enough for you. Yea, you don't ask for a lot, but you do like to be treated right and respected... I don't care who it is. The Jess I know wouldn't be paying him any mind any how... Acting like that... heck nah.
Tonia, you right... I do care. I try to let him know often that he can choose to be with who he pleases and...
(interrupts) Yet you still give your time and energy talking to him... Girl you've caught feelings for him and you know it.
I have.
And now you're playing dumb.
Well... thanks.
I mean real talk. You are. He's showing you that he's not into you and this (pointing at a photo) is what he's looking for. Because if YOU were what he was looking for, and you talk to him as often as you do, either YOU would be in this photo, or there wouldn't be many of the others in the photo with him... and he sure wouldn't be soliciting himself like he does... I mean come on now Jess.
Yea, I thought the same thing or at least... (sigh) whatever... He's still carrying things from ole girl and I know he's not ready to just make anything official and I'm cool with that.
Umph....
I'm serious, I really am. Same goes for me too. I mean, being with someone on an official level scares me to the core and I know I'm not ready either... So I just be sure to talk to him, let him know I'm there and am ok with however things turn out.
You know you're playing yourself right?
Sometimes I know that I am and that's what frustrates me the most... As far as the pics go, I try not to pay much attention. Honestly I think that sometimes he's sending a message out to someone else... like "look at me, and look who I could have... look what you let go" blazeh-blazeh...
There you go playing the understanding game...
I'm foreal. Like, I don't take them serious at all, because I know there's an underlying message to each pic or post, whatever it may be... and they're not sent out for me, but for someone else to see...
So... you do hear yourself right?
Lord... Prophetess. I know you're about to tell me...
I mean, whether what you're saying is true or not... it's still energy going towards someone else and not you... So, why are you putting energy into him?
Girl...
I know you say that you're ok either way things turn out, but Jess I know you and you want more... and he's showing you he doesn't want to give YOU more. I don't care what his words may say, his actions are telling you what you need to hear.
Ugh... I know what you're saying is true... He says it too. He's been in serious relationships back to back and he's ready to just enjoy his time being single. But it's just that sometimes he seems different... almost like he wants more and I guess that's what I'm waiting for...
You're hoping that when he does decide, he'll choose you right...
I know it sounds pitiful, but yes...
Jessica I love you and I know you... I know I keep saying that, but I do. I've seen other guys you've dated and I've seen how they treat you... especially one in particular and I know you can do a lot better than to wait around for some dude that more than likely is not going to choose you.
Yes I know.
Then why are you still waiting for him? Why are you still giving him ANY time of day when you know this?
I don't know Tonia. I just give up on things so much, and ya'll always say that I'm so picky when it comes to men and how I never give things a chance to work out... I'm just trying now... I guess to be patient, who knows.
Girl, I hear you, but this is not what we mean. You will pass up on a good guy because of the tiniest, most retarded reasons and you know it. (both laughing out loud)
Girl I know, let them teeth be too crooked, he gotta go...
See that's what I'm talking about.
Girl you know how I am about smiles and teeth!
You are silly, but foreal. Girl this one you may need to do him like he does you... show him that he's not the only one in your basket...
You know I'm not playing that game anymore... because I could and you know it.
Yes I know you can, that's why I'm over here trippin' like where my girl at. I had to call you on it, because he's the only one you seem to talk about... Either he is the only one, or you are definitely honing in on just him...
Girl I know... can you believe I cut ties with the others?... I'ma answer it for you... I sure can't. I was like, if I expect him to do right then I need to do the same and let anything else go. I just look at it as if he's not the one then I still made room for "the one".
Well to be honest, you may have cut ties with the others, but you are making another tie with him... Look, you know me and I'm not telling you what to do because I know your difficult behind and I know you're going to do what Jess wants to do... So all I'm saying is this... fall back a little or a lot. Put your focus on other things and just watch. You already know that you are interested in him right...
Yes
Well cool. Although you say ya'll talk often and there "may" be something more there and you're just "waiting" (rolling eyes) to see what happens, keep moving forward.
What you mean?
Just that. Keep moving forward and do you. You don't have to be out hoeing, messing with every dude that comes your way, just do you. Even if you decide you don't want to talk to anyone else, that's fine. Just don't keep him in a place that he hasn't earned, nor is implying he's wanting to fill.
(sigh) I hear you...
Jess one thing I do know, is that when a man wants you, he will make that ish known real talk and he will let you and everyone else know too. Men, especially this nut don't beat around the bush when they see something they want. If he wants you, he will tell you, he will show you and you will know it and you won't question it... plus I would've met him by now... think about it...
Ugh, I know! Girl, I know what you're saying is true whether I want to hear it or not. Lowkey I was getting kinda mad at first...
I know you were.
It's all good though. I guess. I do want him, but I want him right and I want him to want me and not have to question it... and you know I'm selfish and don't like to share...
Lord please deliver her, because she is that!
Girl stop.
You know you are with your selfish butt!
Nah, but foreal. I know. It won't be easy but I will do just that... I guess I'll have to be ok if he doesn't choose me. I think that's that part I've been fearing... like, what if I did just do me and keep walking and stopped giving him the time of day and he just be like "whatever" and move on to the next girl...
Or dude...
Girl stop...
You know I ain't lying... these dudes these days, you never know.
(laugh out loud) girl you know I do...
But yes it's all good. I just had to talk some sense into my friend... I'm not gonna let you play yourself like that. Even if he is the guy for you, make him come for you... don't give it away so easily. If he knows it's that easy, girl good luck getting him to show much respect for you. He may not know it but you're a dang good catch, you fine and you have a heart for the Lord!
(snuggling close) Let me rub on you a little bit so some of that boldness can rub off.
Girl please, you got it. I've seen you work it. I don't know what it is that you've started believing about yourself but you still got it. Just because you hadn't found the right one yet, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you and it sure as heck doesn't mean that you just accept anything that comes your way... Now lets eat, cause my food is getting cold...
Tonia, you know I love you right.
I know you do!


Thank you for reading. My prayer is that it touched you as it touched me! Please feel free to share this post or share an inspiring word! Remember you are the only you there is, so be good to YOU!